If I ever get hit in the head by a line drive and have brain surgery, I hope I'm as funny as Brandon McCarthy is afterward. On Sunday, after a baseball writer tweeted that McCarthy was doing well, McCarthy replied with the comment, "He is also frequently peeing into a bucket located next to his bed."

***

When in doubt, pick against the Astros. Homer Bailey and Bronson Arroyo proved that for us with strong outings over the weekend, and San Diego's Andrew Werner continued a successful weekend for us with a nice game on Sunday. With the streaming starter record up to 93-55, today's pick is San Diego's Eric Stults (owned in 8.7 percent of FOXSports.com leagues) against the Cardinals at PETCO, and Tuesday's selection is Milwaukee's Marco Estrada (6.2 percent owned) versus the Braves. The Brewers are making a nice late-season surge, aren't they?

On to the news:

• Yankees 1B Mark Teixeira will have an MRI today after re-injuring his calf over the weekend, and manager Joe Girardi wondered on Sunday if Teixeira will return this season. Teixeira doesn't think it's that serious, but let's keep an ear out for those test results. He's expected to miss at least a few games.
• Orioles OF Nick Markakis broke his left thumb on Saturday, and while his impending surgery might get him back for some of the playoffs, his regular season is over. What do Teixeira and Markakis have in common? They're both on my first-place AL keeper league team - ugh. Anyway, non-outfielder Chris Davis projects to get much of Markakis' playing time in right field, and that should open up DH at bats for the underrated Wilson Betemit, who is eligible at 1B/3B.
• The Dodgers hope to get OF Matt Kemp (shoulder) back in the lineup on Tuesday after missing a couple of games over the weekend.
• In other Dodger news, ace Clayton Kershaw had his Sunday start pushed to (hopefully) Tuesday because of a sore hip. The injury doesn't sound serious.
• After getting sent back to the minors last month in the wake of Brett Anderson's return, rookie Dan Straily is scheduled to start for the A's on Tuesday against the Angels. AL-only owners should remember that Straily led the minor leagues in strikeouts this season, and posted two really good starts in three tries during his brief time with the A's in August.
• In case you haven't heard, the Nationals ended Stephen Strasburg's season after his shaky Friday start. Move on if you own Strasburg - there won't be any surprises or changes of heart from the Nats. Not-so-crafty lefty John Lannan takes Strasburg's rotation slot starting on Wednesday against the Mets.
• It sure sounds like David Ortiz's season is over due to his lingering Achilles injury. The Sox are using a hodgepodge of guys to fill in for Ortiz, but Ryan Kalish (five HR, 11 SB in 64 games between the minors and majors) made two starts over the weekend, and is worth an AL-only look.
• On Saturday night, Donald Belisario entered the eighth inning of a tie game for the Dodgers, and Brandon League got the save after they took the lead. League is still available in 52.5 percent of FOXSports.com leagues.
• Cubs SP Jeff Samardzija has been shut down after a really nice season. Samardzija's 180 strikeouts rank him 11th in the majors, and he'll be an interesting starter to rank for 2013.
• Reds SS Zack Cozart is day-to-day with an oblique injury. The Reds have a big enough divisional lead that they can afford to be cautious with Cozart, and while that's good for them, it's bad for his fantasy owners.
• Look for Rockies SS Troy Tulowitzki to return sometime this week, albeit not in an everyday role.
• Indians SS Asdrubal Cabrera left Sunday's game due to a sore right wrist. His status for tonight is TBD.
• Jered Weaver's recovery from his shoulder injury seems to be going well, and he could fill the Angels' open rotation slot on Tuesday.
• The Brewers lost Ryan Braun (wrist) and Corey Hart (ankle) to injuries yesterday. Neither one sounds serious, but their status for tonight is TBD.
• If Padres' closer Huston Street gets through a simulated game today without any issues, he could be back in action in a week or so.
• With Cardinals SP Jake Westbrook (oblique) out for his Thursday start, Chris Carpenter and rookie Shelby Miller are two of the potential replacements. Lance Lynn seems likelier than both, though.
• Rays OF Desmond Jennings missed two games over the weekend with a stiff back, but plans to play Tuesday.
• Speaking of the Rays, did you notice Chris Archer's terrific Saturday start? Archer had some major control issues in Triple A this season, but he's gotten things straightened out over the past couple of months. I'd be intrigued enough to grab him in a deep mixed league.
• Adam Dunn's is expected to miss at least some of this week's four-game series against the Tigers because of a strained oblique. In other White Sox news, Gavin Floyd might return to the mound on Wednesday after missing a couple of weeks with a sore elbow. If Floyd was good, this news would be interesting.
• Finally, make sure to check out this week's edition of Free Agent Frenzy!

See you back here tomorrow morning.