The NFL lucks out with a solid Thanksgiving lineup

Not much has worked out for the NFL this season, and most of the things that haven’t are the direct result of the league’s mismanagement. However, at least the slate of Thanksgiving games is shaping up to be quality, one of the few breaks the NFL has gotten in 2016.

Gathering around football remains an archetypal part of the holiday for many Americans, and the NFL could use the showcase for a season that’s been largely defined as a poor product. It just so happened to work out that three of the more enticing contests for Week 12 happen to fall on Thanksgiving.

There’s Vikings-Lions, a game that will decide, for a week at least, who holds sole possession of first place in the NFC North. With the Packers two games back and falling apart on both sides of the ball, it seems increasingly likely that it will be either Minnesota or Detroit that will take the division. The Vikings had lost four straight before Sunday, when they were able to eke out a win over a disappointing Arizona squad thanks mostly to two touchdowns from the defense and special teams. 

The Lions have rebounded from a rough start to win four of their last five, though struggled to beat Jacksonville at home in Week 11. It’s a critical game, though hopefully not a race to the bottom for two teams on a short week after less-than-convincing victories.

Redskins-Cowboys might be the highlight of the entire NFL week. Dallas has to be considered the top team in football right now, and Washington is playing as well as it has all season. Kirk Cousins outdueling Aaron Rodgers on Sunday night has the football world singing his praises and presuming that he’s locked up the long-term contract he’s been seeking, though a washout performance in front of the entire country against his franchise arch rival is something that could instantly undo a lot of that good will. 

A huge audience already saw Dallas capture a thrilling comeback victory in Pittsburgh, though for some casual fans this might be an introduction to Dak Prescott and Ezekiel Elliott, the two rookies vaulting this team into title contention. 'Skins fans have probably made themselves forget how excited they were in 2012 when their team came into Dallas on Thanksgiving and then-rookie Robert Griffin III erupted for four touchdowns in a 38-31 victory that propelled Washington to an NFC East title that year. Cousins was a mere afterthought then, but he can cement his place as the face of the franchise with a win and possibly get the ‘Skins in position to challenge for the division again down the stretch.

Andrew Luck remains in the NFL’s concussion protocol after suffering one at some point during the game on Sunday against the Titans. Former Packers backup Scott Tolzien will get the start for Indianapolis. Despite being in the league since going undrafted in 2011, Tolzien’s experience is severely limited. He’s only started two games, throwing for one touchdown and five interceptions. Even going against Pittsburgh’s faltering defense that is now without Cam Heyward for the rest of the season, it seems like a tall order to try to keep pace with the Steelers offense, which has lit up the Colts in the last two meetings.

Of course, since the NFL added a third Thanksgiving game in 2006, the most enduring moment from the night games remains one of hilarious ineptitude, namely Mark Sanchez’s Butt Fumble, which celebrated its fourth anniversary on Tuesday. Still, it’s hard to count on a blooper of that magnitude taking place, and surely most of the country would rather Luck play than take an outside hope of something exceedingly dumb taking place, though you can never put that past Chuck Pagano. 

The Cowboys owe us an active Mark Sanchez on Thanksgiving

With Tony Romo active again as Dak Prescott’s backup, that means Mark Sanchez has been relegated to the No. 3 quarterback on the Cowboys' roster. He was inactive for Sunday’s victory over Baltimore, though the Cowboys owe the nation some Sanchez on Thanksgiving. It wouldn’t even be the first time that Sanchez has played on the holiday since the Butt Fumble, since he started for Philadelphia and actually played reasonably well in a 33-10 win over Dallas in 2014. Mark Sanchez needs to be a yearly fixture for the holiday so he can either perform butt fumbles or be an excuse to insistently show highlights of the original.

Aside from terrible officiating and a big green laser, Mexico game a tremendous success

Roger Goodell expressed optimism for the NFL returning to Mexico City in future years just before the Raiders' victory over the Texans on Monday night. I’m not sure what mishap from the night is in the best interest of the NFL to bury: the fact that a fan with a green laser pointer was able to potentially distract players most of the night or the controversial officiating that may have cost the Texans a victory. 

There was DeAndre Hopkins possibly being incorrectly ruled out on the sideline on a play where he would have likely scored. The replays were difficult to judge, and Hopkins’ heel very well may have been out of bounds on the play. More glaring is the questionable spotting that cost Houston to turn the ball over on back-to-back running plays at the end of the game. The issue of spotting being a critical issue in the outcome of the game just serves as a reminder that there’s no clear answer to fix it. But if officiating blunders were going to turn off foreign audiences, you’d have to wonder how much of the product they were watching in the first place.

Red Zone bathroom pass

NFL watchability ratings are generally pointless. Everyone has access to the same prime time games, and their quality typically corresponds to the night they’re broadcast. Sunday night is the best, Monday night is next, then there’s Thursday night.

Instead, here’s my expectation of how many bathroom breaks you might be able to get away with during a slate of games on Sunday. It’s generally going to be more difficult during the early slate because the NFL still insists on front-loading most of the Sunday nights into the early slot.

Early slate: Tennessee at Chicago / Jacksonville at Buffalo / Cincinnati at Baltimore / Arizona at Atlanta / New York Giants at Cleveland / Los Angeles at New Orleans / San Francisco at Miami / San Diego at Houston

Expected breaks: Aim for one. You’re molded to the couch at this point, weighed down and likely hungover. Getting to the bathroom will be a labor. It’s also necessary. Good thing none of these matchups are particularly great, so there should be ample opportunities without missing anything too critical live.

Late slate: Seattle at Tampa Bay / New England at New York Jets / Carolina at Oakland

Expected breaks:  After a long weekend of gorging and football-watching it’s tempting to say you should finally get up and move around faced with these three likely blowouts before a pretty good Kansas City-Denver game on Sunday night, though we both know that won’t be the case. Food comas turn into football comas so easily. At least try to make it to the bathroom once or twice.